Covid-19 Update: Office News

Sandy Kiaizadeh is a registered psychotherapist in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

Well, here we all are, two months into Toronto’s battle against a worldwide pandemic that has quickly evolved into a very serious health and financial crisis. What a difference ten weeks can make, right?

The Ontario government has begun its plans for re-opening some services as of today, May 19, 2020. While they’ve included some health services in their Phase 1 plan, it will always be my priority to minimize risk to both myself and each of my clients. I continue to monitor the situation closely, and am following the direction given to me by both my regulatory college and professional association.

Both have strongly advised against any return to in-office sessions for now given nothing about the virus’ contagion has changed since March’s initial stay-at-home orders were first announced. The risk of possible exposure would be much too high for both my clients and myself, especially since many of us have underlying health concerns which compromise our immune systems.

The scientific research so far is pretty conclusive in one aspect: being in close quarters (like my cozy windowless office where physical distancing is an impossibility no matter how creative I get about furniture arrangements) for an extended period of time (such as hour-long sessions) is a sure way to increase the chances of exposure. When you couple this with the fact that my office is in a shared space with about 30 other health professionals, each with their own clients sitting in the waiting room, the risks of possible contagion only increase.

Simply put, I cannot in good conscience needlessly put my community at risk when my psychotherapy and life coaching services can be just as effective via telehealth until this serious health crisis improves.

So, I will be adopting a measured, phased-in approach. By this, I mean that I will continue to offer only telephone and video sessions for the time being, until further notice. I will continue to monitor Toronto’s infections rates as the city slowly begins reopening, and will also look to guidance from my regulatory college (whose mandate is to protect YOU, the public) and professional association (whose focus is to protect health professionals). As things begin to improve, I will first begin re-offering walk-and-talk sessions. In-office sessions will be offered only in the final phase, once I am more confident that I can resume such sessions without risking anyone’s health and safety.

I will email all my active clients as I move from one phase to another, so you will always be the first to know when things change. I will also be updating my website blog as I move from one phase to the next.

To all my clients who have continued working with me via telehealth through the greatest health crisis we have ever lived through, thank you for trusting me with your wellbeing! I am confident that we will all come out of this stronger and with powerful insights into the values we hold near and dear to our hearts. As a dear friend reminded me over our Facetime chat just this past weekend, sometimes it takes a negative life event to launch us into something far greater. While some may look to this painful time to sink into defeat, grief, loss and depression, I trust that every member of my beloved community will instead look to it as an opportunity for lasting, positive metamorphosis.

Each of us will come back stronger, braver, and more focused than ever before. Of this, I have no doubt.

 

 

 

Nature As Medicine

‘Beach sunrise’ ©️ Sandy Kiaizadeh 2019

It’s no secret, given my Insta feed (not to mention the hundreds of thousands of photos in my iCloud), that I am a sunrise chaser. As a photographer with a lifelong fascination with observing and capturing light in just the right way, nothing beats the spectacular lighting, hues and shading of an especially gorgeous beach sunrise hand-painted by the goddess of all goddesses, Mother Nature.

Sunrises, in particular, have always held a special place in my heart over sunsets. There’s something about the serenity that’s so rare, especially when living in the midst of such a bustling city that is Toronto… so the break of dawn offers a rare glimpse into how tranquil even the most populated city in Canada can get when its 3 million human inhabitants are still sleeping. It’s in these moments that I get to watch nature’s other creatures in their most natural state. Spotting coyotes, moles, beavers and otters going about their business. Observing the city’s various water birds (ducks, geese, cormorants, herons, swans, etc.) happily co-existing by the same lakeshore. There’s a beautiful synergy between them that makes me think we humans still have yet so much to learn about building community.

Being beachside at sunrise helps ground me to the NOW by tethering me to the sights, smells and sensations that nature has a special way of offering. It reconnects me with the four elements – earth, air, fire and water – which so many of us big city dwellers often lose connection with. Stargazing connects me with ether too; it’s taught me more about astronomy than any book ever could. Over the years, I’ve noticed firsthand how the water’s tides are so intimately impacted by the phases of the moon.

Most importantly, I credit my avid sunrise-chasing for helping to heal me from the deep grief I’ve experienced over the past few years. My soul puppy’s passing 4 years ago triggered an extended period of insomnia in me, which is how I first discovered the power of Mother Nature’s healing medicine. In the year after he passed, meditating beachside at sunrise became my daily ritual. And then when my father passed soon afterwards, I intuitively sought the embrace of the sun’s daily awakening to breathe life back into my heart. These days, the ritual has become such an important part of my mind-body-spirit practice that I get antsy if my schedule precludes me from my beachy meditations at dawn. This practice is what pointed me to my shamanic path. It’s on the sands by natural bodies of water where I’m able to connect with my ancestors the easiest. It’s through this practice that I can so naturally escape the endless chatter of my Ego Mind in favour of the wisdom of my Higher Self. Observing nature, and becoming one with it.

So ya. Sunrises. The OG medicine. 🙌🏽

Find Your Purpose in a Few Minutes With a Few Questions

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It’s not easy to figure out how to spend the rest of your life. But, it doesn’t have to be extremely challenging either. By asking yourself a few, simple questions, you can learn enough about yourself to figure it all out. There may not be a 100% perfect answer, but you can figure out a great answer in a short amount of time.

 

What are you meant to do?

Consider these questions to help you determine your purpose:

1. What am I interested in? These can be things you like to do, learn about, and think about. What activities cause you to lose track of time? Make a list of your 10 favourite activities. Now, think of ways you can make a living in a related way. For example:

• If you love teaching, there are many ways to instruct others. You could be an actual teacher, a personal trainer, teach meditation classes, or be a sports coach.
• Do you love sports? Think coach, athletic trainer, gym teacher, and so on.

2. What do I want to learn more about? Is there a topic that fascinates you so much that you spend your free time learning more about it? You might be fascinated with astronomy or inventing a better mousetrap. What really piques your interest?

3. What am I naturally good at? Ideally, you can find something that you love that you also have a natural talent for. What are some things you do better than the average person? Make another list.

4. What did I want to do when I was a child? What did you dream about being when you were growing up? Sometimes your first ideas are the best ideas. Think about your childhood dreams and ask yourself why you chose that field. You might get a few clues.

5. What are my values? What is most important to you? Adventure? Helping others? Personal development? Overcoming challenges? Your purpose has to be aligned with your values.

6. What is my gut telling me? There’s a time for logic and reason. This might not be one of those times. Sometimes, the best choice doesn’t necessarily make a lot of sense. What is your soul trying to tell you? Listen.

7. Why? Why does a particular field appeal to me? If you understand that, you can find other options that might be more suitable to you. Supposed you have an interest in being a physician. Make a list of why that appeals to you:

• Help people
• Intellectually challenging
• Avoid an office environment
• Get respect from family and the general public
• Financially rewarding: Have nice things and retire early

Now… Ask yourself what else you could do that would meet those needs of yours. For example, you could volunteer on the weekend, you could learn to speak Mandarin, and you could become a successful real estate investor.

8. Choose. Making a choice can be scary. But if you’ve narrowed down your options, it’s hard to make a poor choice. Making no choice at all ensures that your life stays stuck.

It can be unsettling if you don’t know what to do with your life. So, spend a little time with yourself and figure it out. It’s important to make a decision, because the cost of never deciding is significant. Look to your values and preferences and you’ll find a life path that appeals to you. All it takes is asking yourself a few pertinent questions.

Top 6 Actions That Help You Achieve Your Goals

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If you’re tired of making resolutions and goals that you never accomplish, a new approach may help. Conventional mindset goals can fall apart for several reasons. Once you’re aware of why this happens, you can prevent it or fix it so you can be on your way to achievement.

Try these techniques to achieve your goals:

1. Pick realistic goals. One of the most frequent issues is that you may pick goals that aren’t realistic. Perhaps you want to travel around the globe, read hundreds of books, and start your own business. Logistically speaking, some of your goals might simply not be possible any time soon. You may not have the money for travel, you don’t have the time to read, and pursuing your new business venture may require a lot of capital. It’s important to make your goals tangible. For example, instead of taking one long vacation spanning all the Earth’s continents, plan your one next big adventure to visit a country.

2. Break goals into a journey. It’s easy to set a goal, miss it, and get upset. Instead of doing this to yourself with each resolution, try a different way. View your goal as a long-term journey, where each leg of the journey leads up to where you’ll finally arrive. Create a plan that will get you to that goal. Set milestones and rewards along the way.

3. Measure your progress. In some cases, you may be close to achieving your goal, but you give up too soon. By measuring your progress, you’ll be able to see what you’re doing more clearly. You’ll be more motivated to stay on the journey and keep pushing toward your resolution. Set up a system to track your progress. Try different tools, such as calendars, journals, or logs to keep track of your goals and see which system works best for you.

4. Ask for help. Sometimes you might fail simply because you don’t ask for help and try to do everything by yourself. Perhaps a little help will bring you success! It’s normal to need help along your journey. You may need an entire support network behind you to achieve your goal. Turn to friends, family, coworkers, and others for support. Asking for help can help you achieve your goals faster and make the entire process easier as you work toward your target.

5. Feel free to adjust goals. You don’t have to stick with an old goal. Sometimes goals need to be changed and modified. You may evolve as a person and realize that your earlier ambitions are no longer relevant. Your present is constantly affecting your mindset and the way you perceive things. You accumulate knowledge, wisdom, and experience over time that affects your goals.

6. Stay aware of growth. You will continue to grow even if you don’t reach your goals. In some cases, failure may be a blessing because it teaches you valuable life lessons you wouldn’t have realized before. Without failure, you may not change enough to grow. Failure isn’t the end, and you can always set new goals. It’s more important to grow and become stronger than to reach every goal on your list.

Remember, your list will also change, so it won’t look the same as when you started. Be proactive about your goals! Take effective actions that support you and your goals, and you’ll find that achievement comes much easier.

10 Intriguing Ways to Challenge Yourself for 30 Days

Most likely, you won’t change the world in a month, but you can create new habits that

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put you on the road to making a difference in your world. Most people can drop or create a habit within 30 days. The only item you need is commitment.

Do you have what it takes? This list will provide you with a few ideas. Put your creative thinking cap on, and you’ll develop a few of your own ideas for challenges that will make a positive difference in your life.

Challenge yourself and change your life:

1. Try a new recipe. Let’s face it. You have the same thing for breakfast every day. Only a couple of different things for lunch. And maybe 10 different things for dinner. You’ve been eating the same stuff for years! Try something new. You’re bound to find something you love. Eat something new each day for a month.

2. Drink only water as a beverage for a month. How much do you rely on your morning cafe latte? You’re about to find out. Just go one month without drinking anything other than what your adult body was designed to drink – water.

3. Give up your news habit. See how many days you can go without watching or reading any news. Think you’ll miss out on something important? Your friends will tell you. Besides, the news hasn’t changed much for the last 100 years. Look at an old newspaper for proof.

4. Take a cold shower. There are lots of health benefits to be found from taking cold showers. They’re great for your mood and immune system. See how tough you really are. One tip: Rather than starting with a cold shower, start with a hot shower and gradually keep turning the temperature down. It’s refreshing!

5. Wake up 30 minutes earlier. Get out of bed 30 minutes earlier and do something productive. You might try learning Italian or reading. It might be a good time for a walk. Maybe you’ll meditate, pray, or write. See how special the morning can be before everyone else gets up!

6. Avoid complaining. Thirty days without complaining? Can you do it? You might struggle at first if you have a habit of complaining. But you’ll feel great by the end of the month!

7. Avoid negative thoughts. How about skipping all negative thoughts for a month? It’s important to catch yourself early in the process, and there will be plenty of times you’ll have to catch yourself. Breaking this one negative habit can make a huge positive difference in your life.

8. Do something nice for someone each day. You can do 30 things for the same person or for a variety of people. The choice is yours. Try to accomplish this anonymously. You’ll learn how good it feels to do something for someone else without getting anything in return.

9. Study something for a month. Pull the old guitar out of the attic. Learn how to paint. Study web marketing. This is a great challenge to combine with waking up earlier. What will you learn this month?

10. Exercise daily for a month. It doesn’t have to be challenging, but do something physical and fun each day for 30 days. Think of ways you can enjoy this time. You might shoot baskets in the driveway one day, and meet a friend for tennis the next. Take the family for a hike. Play with your dog. Try that new Body Groove class. Just do something active and enjoy the endorphin rush!

What ideas do you have for a 30-day challenge? Visualize how great you’ll feel if you can make just a couple of worthwhile changes over the next month. Your life will be moving toward new possibilities. You can change your habits in 30 days. Let’s get started!

Are You Following Your Own Path, or Someone Else’s?

It’s not easy to find your way through the world. You might have interests that don’t coincide with the values of your parents or with those of western society. It’s important to remember that everyone is different, and while the status quo might work for the majority of the population, it doesn’t work for everyone.

To have a truly fulfilling life, you must live it on your own terms. There are plenty of forces willing to tell you what your path should be:

1. Parents. Your parents want you to be happy and successful. They love you, and they want you to thrive and blossom. Many of them may also like to be able to brag to their friends about their children. 🙂  Most parents tend to be practical in their advice. Just remember that you’d have a similar life to them if you always followed their advice. That might be good or bad. Keep in mind that you are not the same as your parents. You also have your own life to live. You owe it to yourself to live a life that’s right for YOU.
2. Educational system. The educational system wants to turn out productive people into society that conform to their ways of thinking. This might be great for society, but it might not always be in your best interests. What if you want to be a rockstar, or take a few years to travel and write a book, own an alpaca farm, or become a Buddhist monk in Sri Lanka? Your school guidance counsellor might be less than supportive of such pursuits!
3. Society as a whole. We, in the Western world, live in a society that places a strong value on achievement, financial resources, and personal possessions. We’re supposed to get married to a “perfect” partner, have a few kids, and own a house in the suburbs. It’s natural to want to play that game because we’ve all been so deeply indoctrinated to view these as measures of a “successful” life, even if it doesn’t quite suit our true nature. It’s nice to have the admiration of society, our ego minds crave this type of recognition. But the type of life dictated by society isn’t alwaysa good fit for everyone. There are plenty of people that are highly successful by society’s criteria that are profoundly unhappy with how their lives turned out. 

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As you can see, plenty of people are willing to influence your choice of lifestyle and career. But it’s unlikely that their advice will be optimal for you all the time. Be an individual and find the path that works best for you. Find and follow your own path with these strategies:

1. Ask yourself what you really want to do. Don’t say that you don’t know, because you do know. You’re just afraid to allow it to see the light of day. You might be concerned what others think, or you might be afraid that you’re not capable of doing it. Deep down, if you turned inward and listened to the whispers in your heart, you know what you want. Ask yourself what you would do if you could do anything, and then listen to the answer.
2. Decide that you’re going to follow your path. One of the biggest obstacles to success is failing to make a true decision. A decision only occurs when you shut yourself off to other possibilities. If you frequently change your mind, you’re not making true decisions.
3. Make a plan. Rome wasn’t built in a day. So set up a schedule of daily tasks that will bring you closer to living the life that you have chosen. In doing so, you’re practically guaranteed success provided you don’t give up.

Your life is your responsibility. If you find yourself stuck living someone else’s definition of success, you’ll find yourself unhappy. The people that influenced you to live this way will be off living their own best lives. Take control of your destiny and find your own path. Your life will be more interesting, more satisfying, and uniquely your own!

8 Steps to Realizing Your Full Potential

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Most people look back on their life and wonder what they could have accomplished if they’d only been more decisive and committed. You can avoid that kind of regret by choosing to become the best you can at something. Think about it for a moment. What do you want to master?

Follow this process to be the best version of you that you can be:

1. Assess your strengths. Your greatest potential will involve one or more of your strengths. Most strengths can be applied to any endeavour with a focused approach. The first step is to identify these strengths. What are you better at than nearly everyone you know? What has always been easy for you? What are you best at?
2. Assess your weaknesses. Do the same with your weaknesses. While weaknesses can, and often should, be strengthened, it’s helpful to avoid them at all costs when it’s time to get busy. Relying on your weaknesses increases the odds of failure.
3. What do you like? It’s not just about effort and skill. It’s about putting in enough time to be successful. That’s easier to do when you enjoy what you’re doing. You might have great potential to be the world’s greatest golfer, but if you can’t stand the game, you’ll never do it. More importantly, you wouldn’t want to anyway. Think about what you enjoy doing. What activities cause you to lose track of time?
4. What do you want to accomplish? Now that you know your strengths, weaknesses, and likes, you can decide what you want to master. You can’t do much without making this important decision. Everything going forward depends on this decision. Think carefully. Consider how you will measure mastery. Is it when you can drive a golf ball 300 yards 9 times out of 10? Play a specific piece of music on the piano? Earn $1 million in a year? How will you know you’ve won?
5. Avoid distractions. Distractions are the enemy to progress. We all have things we enjoy doing that accomplish nothing other than providing temporary amusement. Make a list of your favourite distractions. How willing are you to avoid these items? This is a good indicator of your potential for success.
6. Find a mentor. You can’t reach your ultimate potential without a mentor, coach, advisor, or whatever title you prefer. It can shave years off your learning curve and help you to avoid the mistakes you’re destined to make on your own. Seek out the best in your field and make contact. At the very least, read books on the topic written by experts. The library can provide you with plenty of mentors.
7. Make a commitment. Mastery requires commitment. It’s the commitment to develop yourself, overcome obstacles, and to put in the necessary time. It’s the commitment to find a mentor and to avoid those appealing distractions.
8. Focus on improvement. Seek regular small improvements. Consistent progress is the key to mastery. Mastering anything can take years, or even decades. If perfection is your daily goal, you’ll be disappointed. Weekly progress is an attainable goal that can keep you going. Have you ever truly committed yourself to anything? Now can be that time. What interests you? What do you want to know inside and out? Mastering anything can give you a new level of pride and confidence.

It takes some sacrifice to master anything because you have less time available for other pursuits. However, most people find it’s worth the sacrifice. So…. What do you want to master?

Top 10 Powerful Words to Keep You Motivated

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No matter where you are on your life journey, setbacks can cause disappointment and a loss of momentum.

Whether it’s a new career you’re working towards or an overall appreciation of life, every step towards fulfilment can seem financially, emotionally, or psychologically draining from time to time.

To boost your confidence, here’s a list of the top 10 power words and tips to keep you motivated and passionate, no matter what life throws your way:

1. Purpose. Whenever you’re feeling discouraged or disappointed, always remember your original purpose. Reminding yourself of the original reason for venturing down your path in the first place will help refresh your mind when things go awry.
2. Planning. Though you may think that you’ve done enough planning towards the fulfilment of your goal, thinking it through again will help eliminate aspects of your plan of action that may be causing you setbacks. Put all your thoughts down on paper, from the smallest details to the larger movements. Being able to see the timeline of your mission will help you focus on taking one step at a time to reach your goals.
3. Acceptance. Accepting that you’re a human being who’s bound to have ups and downs is absolutely crucial to your success. Without this self-acceptance, you’ll be subject to a foggy mind that’s unable to think positively, clearly, and innovatively.  Acceptance of what hasn’t worked in the past helps you gain a better knowledge of what will work in the future.
4. Reward. When your motivation starts to wean, it’s crucial to give yourself rewards along the way. This is one of the best ways to stay motivated on your path to success. By giving yourself a taste of what you’re working for – whether it’s financial freedom, career responsibility, or your dream lifestyle – you won’t feel like you’re working so hard for nothing. This refreshes your mind and helps you work more productively.
5. Health. You know what this entails: moderate exercise, a healthy diet, and 7-8 hours of sleep per night. Feeling worn-down will make it almost impossible to pursue your goals and vision with the same clarity and vigour you had when you first set out. Take care of your basic needs first, and you’ll be strong enough to pursue your dreams.
6. Motivation. Research motivational books, CDs, and seminars. Sometimes hearing motivational tips from a different perspective can greatly motivate you to act and succeed. Find a source or two that touches you in some way and keep them close for those moments when you feel discouraged. After all, we all get discouraged at one time or another.
7. Organization. Ever feel depressed and worn out, and then you clean your surroundings and instantly feel more focused and motivated? The same applies to your goal. Organize and clean house when it comes to the operation of your goal.  Organizing yourself gives you a fresh start and a feeling of clarity. In doing so, you’ll be able to attack your short and long-term goals more vigorously and effectively.
8. Refresh. Refresh your plan with something new. It could be a different tactic, setting, or career. Whatever it is, break out of the pattern you’re in and try something new. Even if this new tactic doesn’t yield positive results immediately, at the very least it will make you aware of the availability of your options.
9. Networking. Reach out to people in your industry or those who share your life goal. You can do this a number of ways: check out local clubs, find a plethora of people online, or talk to existing contacts that may have already succeeded in your goal.  Having someone to voice your struggles, questions, and experience to will invigorate you to keep moving forward.
10. Action. Taking action, despite doubts and setbacks, will further your progress. By moving on, despite any pessimistic thoughts, you will motivate yourself by the sheer momentum of doing something proactive to change your circumstances.

Whenever you feel like your progress has stalled, or you simply want some quick inspiration, look to these 10 powerful words and strategies to spur you on. You’re sure to find something to get you back on track toward success!

7 Steps to Banishing a Limiting Belief

Limiting beliefs are dysfunctional ideas/beliefs that we make up about ourselves, others and the world around us. Like the name suggests, they inhibit and hold us back from positive growth. We all have them, to varying extents, but the good news is that there are ways to banish them for good. Ready? Here we go:

7 Steps To Banishing A Limiting Belief – Toronto Mindful Solutions Clinic

How Does Getting Psychotherapy Help?

Since psychotherapy (also known as counselling) is a rather misunderstood concept (not to mention often steeped in stigma), the suggestion that you see a therapist can be scary.

You may perceive getting therapy to mean that there’s something wrong with you. But this isn’t the case at all! While it may not be for everyone, counselling can be beneficial to most people at challenging points in their lives.

Although it’s important to recognize that therapy is not a panacea, it makes a difference every day in thousands of lives across the world. If you find that you have uncomfortable feelings of “stuckness” in your life, you may very well benefit from this working with a psychotherapist.

Consider these ways that therapy can help you:

1. Get an objective viewpoint: Counseling allows the opportunity to talk about your current challenges with someone who’s trained, impartial and objective. Open communication with your friends and loved ones is usually a good idea. However, there are times when you might find it more comforting and safe to share your feelings, innermost thoughts, and worries with a therapist.
2. Clarify your feelings: Many times, people begin therapy feeling confused and not really able to identify their emotions. A good therapist can assist you in recognizing your feelings. The therapeutic process can help you explore particularly troubling emotions and resolve them.
3. Learn to appropriately communicate: Being able to share honest, genuine feelings using more effective communication can enrich your relationships and help you succeed in your life. Once you learn to pay more attention to your feelings and share them with others, you’ll get more of what you want from life, whatever that may be. Most importantly, your life is more fulfilling when you live based on how you truly feel.
4. Get stress-relief: How many times do you have an opportunity to say whatever you want however you want with no repercussions later? It’s possible to liberate yourself from psychological pain by talking with a therapist. Therapy is a safe place to vent your negative feelings. Whether you’re feeling scared, hurt, angry, lonely, confused, stuck or other negative feelings, you can share it with your therapist, take a load off your chest, and gain clarity. For many, therapy is a sanctuary when they’re feeling overwhelmed with negativity in their life. This makes counselling a great stress reliever!
5. It’s all about you: When you go to therapy, the session is focused on your benefit. Your time with a psychotherapist is all about you. You can say whatever you want, and you won’t ever have to worry about being judged by the therapist, as they are trained to keep their personal feelings out of it.
6. Gain valuable insights: When you talk about yourself with someone who’s non-judgmental and objective, you’re truly tuned in to the moment and what you’re saying. Therapy provides a chance for you to hear yourself talk and share your own personal struggles. It may sound unusual, but people in counselling frequently have “a-ha” moments about something they shared. Your therapist will ask questions which encourage you to examine your current situation more thoroughly. After all, human difficulties are complex. Through this process, you can discover your motives and learn to understand yourself better. Developing insight and awareness into your feelings empowers you to set priorities about what’s most important to you and make choices that enable you to live the life you truly seek.
7. Bring out your strengths: With therapy, you can develop or gain confidence in your capacity to live a healthy, fulfilling life, while learning more about what makes you tick, and how to harness your strengths.

Simply put, working with a therapist can be one of the most profound gifts you can ever give yourself. Most likely, you’ll experience less stress, feel more satisfied and contented with your life after participating in counselling. If you find yourself struggling emotionally, remind yourself that therapy can help. Tell yourself that therapy is a crucial component of your self-care plan. And then commit to doing the work!