Are You Following Your Own Path, or Someone Else’s?

It’s not easy to find your way through the world. You might have interests that don’t coincide with the values of your parents or with those of western society. It’s important to remember that everyone is different, and while the status quo might work for the majority of the population, it doesn’t work for everyone.

To have a truly fulfilling life, you must live it on your own terms. There are plenty of forces willing to tell you what your path should be:

1. Parents. Your parents want you to be happy and successful. They love you, and they want you to thrive and blossom. Many of them may also like to be able to brag to their friends about their children. 🙂  Most parents tend to be practical in their advice. Just remember that you’d have a similar life to them if you always followed their advice. That might be good or bad. Keep in mind that you are not the same as your parents. You also have your own life to live. You owe it to yourself to live a life that’s right for YOU.
2. Educational system. The educational system wants to turn out productive people into society that conform to their ways of thinking. This might be great for society, but it might not always be in your best interests. What if you want to be a rockstar, or take a few years to travel and write a book, own an alpaca farm, or become a Buddhist monk in Sri Lanka? Your school guidance counsellor might be less than supportive of such pursuits!
3. Society as a whole. We, in the Western world, live in a society that places a strong value on achievement, financial resources, and personal possessions. We’re supposed to get married to a “perfect” partner, have a few kids, and own a house in the suburbs. It’s natural to want to play that game because we’ve all been so deeply indoctrinated to view these as measures of a “successful” life, even if it doesn’t quite suit our true nature. It’s nice to have the admiration of society, our ego minds crave this type of recognition. But the type of life dictated by society isn’t alwaysa good fit for everyone. There are plenty of people that are highly successful by society’s criteria that are profoundly unhappy with how their lives turned out. 

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As you can see, plenty of people are willing to influence your choice of lifestyle and career. But it’s unlikely that their advice will be optimal for you all the time. Be an individual and find the path that works best for you. Find and follow your own path with these strategies:

1. Ask yourself what you really want to do. Don’t say that you don’t know, because you do know. You’re just afraid to allow it to see the light of day. You might be concerned what others think, or you might be afraid that you’re not capable of doing it. Deep down, if you turned inward and listened to the whispers in your heart, you know what you want. Ask yourself what you would do if you could do anything, and then listen to the answer.
2. Decide that you’re going to follow your path. One of the biggest obstacles to success is failing to make a true decision. A decision only occurs when you shut yourself off to other possibilities. If you frequently change your mind, you’re not making true decisions.
3. Make a plan. Rome wasn’t built in a day. So set up a schedule of daily tasks that will bring you closer to living the life that you have chosen. In doing so, you’re practically guaranteed success provided you don’t give up.

Your life is your responsibility. If you find yourself stuck living someone else’s definition of success, you’ll find yourself unhappy. The people that influenced you to live this way will be off living their own best lives. Take control of your destiny and find your own path. Your life will be more interesting, more satisfying, and uniquely your own!

8 Steps to Realizing Your Full Potential

Toronto Mindful Solutions Clinic

Most people look back on their life and wonder what they could have accomplished if they’d only been more decisive and committed. You can avoid that kind of regret by choosing to become the best you can at something. Think about it for a moment. What do you want to master?

Follow this process to be the best version of you that you can be:

1. Assess your strengths. Your greatest potential will involve one or more of your strengths. Most strengths can be applied to any endeavour with a focused approach. The first step is to identify these strengths. What are you better at than nearly everyone you know? What has always been easy for you? What are you best at?
2. Assess your weaknesses. Do the same with your weaknesses. While weaknesses can, and often should, be strengthened, it’s helpful to avoid them at all costs when it’s time to get busy. Relying on your weaknesses increases the odds of failure.
3. What do you like? It’s not just about effort and skill. It’s about putting in enough time to be successful. That’s easier to do when you enjoy what you’re doing. You might have great potential to be the world’s greatest golfer, but if you can’t stand the game, you’ll never do it. More importantly, you wouldn’t want to anyway. Think about what you enjoy doing. What activities cause you to lose track of time?
4. What do you want to accomplish? Now that you know your strengths, weaknesses, and likes, you can decide what you want to master. You can’t do much without making this important decision. Everything going forward depends on this decision. Think carefully. Consider how you will measure mastery. Is it when you can drive a golf ball 300 yards 9 times out of 10? Play a specific piece of music on the piano? Earn $1 million in a year? How will you know you’ve won?
5. Avoid distractions. Distractions are the enemy to progress. We all have things we enjoy doing that accomplish nothing other than providing temporary amusement. Make a list of your favourite distractions. How willing are you to avoid these items? This is a good indicator of your potential for success.
6. Find a mentor. You can’t reach your ultimate potential without a mentor, coach, advisor, or whatever title you prefer. It can shave years off your learning curve and help you to avoid the mistakes you’re destined to make on your own. Seek out the best in your field and make contact. At the very least, read books on the topic written by experts. The library can provide you with plenty of mentors.
7. Make a commitment. Mastery requires commitment. It’s the commitment to develop yourself, overcome obstacles, and to put in the necessary time. It’s the commitment to find a mentor and to avoid those appealing distractions.
8. Focus on improvement. Seek regular small improvements. Consistent progress is the key to mastery. Mastering anything can take years, or even decades. If perfection is your daily goal, you’ll be disappointed. Weekly progress is an attainable goal that can keep you going. Have you ever truly committed yourself to anything? Now can be that time. What interests you? What do you want to know inside and out? Mastering anything can give you a new level of pride and confidence.

It takes some sacrifice to master anything because you have less time available for other pursuits. However, most people find it’s worth the sacrifice. So…. What do you want to master?

Top 10 Powerful Words to Keep You Motivated

Toronto Mindful Solutions Clinic

No matter where you are on your life journey, setbacks can cause disappointment and a loss of momentum.

Whether it’s a new career you’re working towards or an overall appreciation of life, every step towards fulfilment can seem financially, emotionally, or psychologically draining from time to time.

To boost your confidence, here’s a list of the top 10 power words and tips to keep you motivated and passionate, no matter what life throws your way:

1. Purpose. Whenever you’re feeling discouraged or disappointed, always remember your original purpose. Reminding yourself of the original reason for venturing down your path in the first place will help refresh your mind when things go awry.
2. Planning. Though you may think that you’ve done enough planning towards the fulfilment of your goal, thinking it through again will help eliminate aspects of your plan of action that may be causing you setbacks. Put all your thoughts down on paper, from the smallest details to the larger movements. Being able to see the timeline of your mission will help you focus on taking one step at a time to reach your goals.
3. Acceptance. Accepting that you’re a human being who’s bound to have ups and downs is absolutely crucial to your success. Without this self-acceptance, you’ll be subject to a foggy mind that’s unable to think positively, clearly, and innovatively.  Acceptance of what hasn’t worked in the past helps you gain a better knowledge of what will work in the future.
4. Reward. When your motivation starts to wean, it’s crucial to give yourself rewards along the way. This is one of the best ways to stay motivated on your path to success. By giving yourself a taste of what you’re working for – whether it’s financial freedom, career responsibility, or your dream lifestyle – you won’t feel like you’re working so hard for nothing. This refreshes your mind and helps you work more productively.
5. Health. You know what this entails: moderate exercise, a healthy diet, and 7-8 hours of sleep per night. Feeling worn-down will make it almost impossible to pursue your goals and vision with the same clarity and vigour you had when you first set out. Take care of your basic needs first, and you’ll be strong enough to pursue your dreams.
6. Motivation. Research motivational books, CDs, and seminars. Sometimes hearing motivational tips from a different perspective can greatly motivate you to act and succeed. Find a source or two that touches you in some way and keep them close for those moments when you feel discouraged. After all, we all get discouraged at one time or another.
7. Organization. Ever feel depressed and worn out, and then you clean your surroundings and instantly feel more focused and motivated? The same applies to your goal. Organize and clean house when it comes to the operation of your goal.  Organizing yourself gives you a fresh start and a feeling of clarity. In doing so, you’ll be able to attack your short and long-term goals more vigorously and effectively.
8. Refresh. Refresh your plan with something new. It could be a different tactic, setting, or career. Whatever it is, break out of the pattern you’re in and try something new. Even if this new tactic doesn’t yield positive results immediately, at the very least it will make you aware of the availability of your options.
9. Networking. Reach out to people in your industry or those who share your life goal. You can do this a number of ways: check out local clubs, find a plethora of people online, or talk to existing contacts that may have already succeeded in your goal.  Having someone to voice your struggles, questions, and experience to will invigorate you to keep moving forward.
10. Action. Taking action, despite doubts and setbacks, will further your progress. By moving on, despite any pessimistic thoughts, you will motivate yourself by the sheer momentum of doing something proactive to change your circumstances.

Whenever you feel like your progress has stalled, or you simply want some quick inspiration, look to these 10 powerful words and strategies to spur you on. You’re sure to find something to get you back on track toward success!

7 Steps to Banishing a Limiting Belief

Limiting beliefs are dysfunctional ideas/beliefs that we make up about ourselves, others and the world around us. Like the name suggests, they inhibit and hold us back from positive growth. We all have them, to varying extents, but the good news is that there are ways to banish them for good. Ready? Here we go:

7 Steps To Banishing A Limiting Belief – Toronto Mindful Solutions Clinic

How Does Getting Psychotherapy Help?

Since psychotherapy (also known as counselling) is a rather misunderstood concept (not to mention often steeped in stigma), the suggestion that you see a therapist can be scary.

You may perceive getting therapy to mean that there’s something wrong with you. But this isn’t the case at all! While it may not be for everyone, counselling can be beneficial to most people at challenging points in their lives.

Although it’s important to recognize that therapy is not a panacea, it makes a difference every day in thousands of lives across the world. If you find that you have uncomfortable feelings of “stuckness” in your life, you may very well benefit from this working with a psychotherapist.

Consider these ways that therapy can help you:

1. Get an objective viewpoint: Counseling allows the opportunity to talk about your current challenges with someone who’s trained, impartial and objective. Open communication with your friends and loved ones is usually a good idea. However, there are times when you might find it more comforting and safe to share your feelings, innermost thoughts, and worries with a therapist.
2. Clarify your feelings: Many times, people begin therapy feeling confused and not really able to identify their emotions. A good therapist can assist you in recognizing your feelings. The therapeutic process can help you explore particularly troubling emotions and resolve them.
3. Learn to appropriately communicate: Being able to share honest, genuine feelings using more effective communication can enrich your relationships and help you succeed in your life. Once you learn to pay more attention to your feelings and share them with others, you’ll get more of what you want from life, whatever that may be. Most importantly, your life is more fulfilling when you live based on how you truly feel.
4. Get stress-relief: How many times do you have an opportunity to say whatever you want however you want with no repercussions later? It’s possible to liberate yourself from psychological pain by talking with a therapist. Therapy is a safe place to vent your negative feelings. Whether you’re feeling scared, hurt, angry, lonely, confused, stuck or other negative feelings, you can share it with your therapist, take a load off your chest, and gain clarity. For many, therapy is a sanctuary when they’re feeling overwhelmed with negativity in their life. This makes counselling a great stress reliever!
5. It’s all about you: When you go to therapy, the session is focused on your benefit. Your time with a psychotherapist is all about you. You can say whatever you want, and you won’t ever have to worry about being judged by the therapist, as they are trained to keep their personal feelings out of it.
6. Gain valuable insights: When you talk about yourself with someone who’s non-judgmental and objective, you’re truly tuned in to the moment and what you’re saying. Therapy provides a chance for you to hear yourself talk and share your own personal struggles. It may sound unusual, but people in counselling frequently have “a-ha” moments about something they shared. Your therapist will ask questions which encourage you to examine your current situation more thoroughly. After all, human difficulties are complex. Through this process, you can discover your motives and learn to understand yourself better. Developing insight and awareness into your feelings empowers you to set priorities about what’s most important to you and make choices that enable you to live the life you truly seek.
7. Bring out your strengths: With therapy, you can develop or gain confidence in your capacity to live a healthy, fulfilling life, while learning more about what makes you tick, and how to harness your strengths.

Simply put, working with a therapist can be one of the most profound gifts you can ever give yourself. Most likely, you’ll experience less stress, feel more satisfied and contented with your life after participating in counselling. If you find yourself struggling emotionally, remind yourself that therapy can help. Tell yourself that therapy is a crucial component of your self-care plan. And then commit to doing the work!