Covid-19 Update: Office News

Sandy Kiaizadeh is a registered psychotherapist in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

Well, here we all are, two months into Toronto’s battle against a worldwide pandemic that has quickly evolved into a very serious health and financial crisis. What a difference ten weeks can make, right?

The Ontario government has begun its plans for re-opening some services as of today, May 19, 2020. While they’ve included some health services in their Phase 1 plan, it will always be my priority to minimize risk to both myself and each of my clients. I continue to monitor the situation closely, and am following the direction given to me by both my regulatory college and professional association.

Both have strongly advised against any return to in-office sessions for now given nothing about the virus’ contagion has changed since March’s initial stay-at-home orders were first announced. The risk of possible exposure would be much too high for both my clients and myself, especially since many of us have underlying health concerns which compromise our immune systems.

The scientific research so far is pretty conclusive in one aspect: being in close quarters (like my cozy windowless office where physical distancing is an impossibility no matter how creative I get about furniture arrangements) for an extended period of time (such as hour-long sessions) is a sure way to increase the chances of exposure. When you couple this with the fact that my office is in a shared space with about 30 other health professionals, each with their own clients sitting in the waiting room, the risks of possible contagion only increase.

Simply put, I cannot in good conscience needlessly put my community at risk when my psychotherapy and life coaching services can be just as effective via telehealth until this serious health crisis improves.

So, I will be adopting a measured, phased-in approach. By this, I mean that I will continue to offer only telephone and video sessions for the time being, until further notice. I will continue to monitor Toronto’s infections rates as the city slowly begins reopening, and will also look to guidance from my regulatory college (whose mandate is to protect YOU, the public) and professional association (whose focus is to protect health professionals). As things begin to improve, I will first begin re-offering walk-and-talk sessions. In-office sessions will be offered only in the final phase, once I am more confident that I can resume such sessions without risking anyone’s health and safety.

I will email all my active clients as I move from one phase to another, so you will always be the first to know when things change. I will also be updating my website blog as I move from one phase to the next.

To all my clients who have continued working with me via telehealth through the greatest health crisis we have ever lived through, thank you for trusting me with your wellbeing! I am confident that we will all come out of this stronger and with powerful insights into the values we hold near and dear to our hearts. As a dear friend reminded me over our Facetime chat just this past weekend, sometimes it takes a negative life event to launch us into something far greater. While some may look to this painful time to sink into defeat, grief, loss and depression, I trust that every member of my beloved community will instead look to it as an opportunity for lasting, positive metamorphosis.

Each of us will come back stronger, braver, and more focused than ever before. Of this, I have no doubt.

 

 

 

What is Depression?

If you ask a group of people who’ve suffered from clinical depression to define the illness, you’ll hear a variety of answers. Depression is a very personal experience that millions of people all over the world experience.

Different people manifest different symptoms, but one thing is certain: depression is a difficult illness that can seriously stall your life if left unresolved. Many people with depression describe it as a sense of despair that engulfs everything they do and everything they feel.

If you think being depressed is akin to feeling sad because your favourite team just lost the championship game, you really have no idea what suffering from a true depression is like. Depression is much deeper and more invasive than sadness or frustration.

Depression takes everything away from you; it saps your energy, focus, concentration, and especially your joy. You just don’t care about anything; nothing matters and even the people you love become unimportant. And worst of all, you begin to believe the critical voice inside that convinces you that the dark cloud will always be hovering over you.

Physical Concerns of Depression

Depression doesn’t only take its toll on your emotions and mental state; it can cause serious physical problems as well. Depression may cause you to either lose your appetite or eat incessantly. It also zaps your energy and motivation.

When you’re depressed, you tend to become inactive. This alone can cause a number of problems, but when added to some of the other physical side effects of depression, it’s easy to see why depression is such a serious illness.

In addition, depression can lead to:

1. Lack of sleep. Depression can cause insomnia, which strips the body of the necessary sleep to function properly.

2. Poor nutrition. When depressed, many people fail to take in proper nutrients. It takes too much effort to plan and prepare a meal. This can cause several health problems.

3. Aches and pains. If anyone tells you that your mental state has no effect on your physical state, they’re wrong. When you’re depressed, the chemicals in the brain that signal pain are as affected as the chemicals in your brain that help you feel happy. Physical aches and pains are increased, which in turn, kicks in the sad feelings and the cycle begins again.

4. Hygiene issues. Someone suffering from depression doesn’t have the energy or the motivation to be concerned with self-care. Simply put, even routine self-care activities like brushing your teeth or showering daily can seem overwhelming.

What are the Symptoms of Depression?

These are some specific things those with depression experience:

• Persistent sadness
• Hopelessness
• Lack of motivation
• Feelings of guilt
• Difficulty making decisions
• Insomnia or trouble sleeping
• Irritability / repressed anger
• Difficulty concentrating / brain fog
• Loss of interest in things that once interested them
• Feelings of worthlessness / low self-esteem
• Changes in appetite
• Physical pain
• Lack of energy and fatigue
• Changes in sexual appetite
• Suicidal thoughts / suicidal ideation

One thing about depression is certain: it’s a serious condition and should be taken seriously.

As untreated depression progresses, it feeds on itself like a snowball rolling downhill. The longer someone is depressed, the worse the depression gets until they see no way out of it at all. They become resigned to being miserable all the time.

Depression can be caused by trauma, the change of seasons, losing a loved one, change of life transition, or even a chemical imbalance in the body. Emerging research has even connected poor gut health with poor brain health.

The treatment for depression usually involves psychotherapy and/or medication that helps alter brain chemistry. In addition to these two treatments, naturopathic medicine can also be a helpful adjunct to help bring your gut health back to optimal levels.

If you know someone who is depressed, the best thing you can do is be his or her friend. Talk to them and help them through this period. Encourage them to seek medical and psychotherapeutic care to treat their illness.

If you think you may be depressed, talk to your family doctor for a proper diagnosis, and seek out the help of a registered psychotherapist.

Above all, know that depression is a treatable illness – despite what your inner critic might be whispering in your head. Depression doesn’t have to ruin your life! With proper help and support, you can conquer your depression, move past it, and go on to live a joyful life.

Discovering Your Self-Worth Despite Challenging Circumstances

Does life seem to be a struggle for you? Do you feel overwhelmed and frustrated much of the time? Do you wish you could experience something better? Fortunately, you can enjoy the exciting life you deserve. Success is available to you despite challenging circumstances. It’s important to remember, also, that your self-worth is not defined by your circumstances.

What holds you back?

Take some time today to question the beliefs you hold that limit your potential. If you look at a challenging circumstance as a wall that’s impossible to climb, you need a fresh perspective. Within you is everything you need to thrive and excel. The more you question the validity of your limiting beliefs, the more success you’ll experience in your life.

Think of a circumstance in your life that you believe is preventing you from something you want. Write it down, then get ready to challenge that limiting belief. If you do, you’ll begin to move toward the success you deserve.

Use these strategies to maintain positive self-worth, regardless of your circumstances:

1. Find the cause. What is the cause of the circumstance in your life? Sometimes, limiting beliefs can serve as warning signs that help you avoid danger. What can you learn from this so you avoid triggering a similar situation in the future? If the cause of your situation is unclear, ask friends and family for their input. Others see your life from a different perspective, and their input can be valuable in determining the root of your difficulty.

2. Get past the blame game. You can often be your own worst critic. But remember, negative self-talk often has very little basis in reality. Choose to replace the doubts of your inner critic with more productive thinking. Once a negative thought has taught you its intended lesson, it has served its purpose. If you choose to hold onto those negative thoughts, they will begin to form a negative self-image in your mind. This unbalanced view of your talents and strengths holds you back.  Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts about your circumstances, learn the lesson and resolve to move on. Find out what you can do differently to avoid a repeat of your present situation. Then, when negative thoughts enter your mind, choose to replace your self-talk with productive thoughts instead.

3. Cut yourself some slack. The practice of self-compassion means recognizing that you’re human. Everyone makes mistakes, but your attitude determines your altitude in life. You are valuable regardless of your present predicament. You are worthwhile even when you slip up or falter. Your circumstances simply provide feedback and an opportunity to learn and grow.

4. Make the most of it. When you recognize that you’re valuable despite your circumstances, you’ll begin to make the most of every opportunity. Stumbling blocks you face can become stepping stones to the success you deserve, simply by changing what you focus on. Instead of feeling helpless, ask yourself: “What’s great about this?” Every situation provides something of value if you look for it.

5. Ask for help. Loved ones and friends often see strengths in you that go without notice. Ask them what they believe your strengths are. This is where your self-worth is found. Everyone has something of value to contribute. Once you recognize your unique talents, gifts, and abilities, you’ll see life in a whole new way. You’ll seek opportunities to use your talents to bless others. You’ll gain confidence that comes from conquering challenges that once made you cringe. Instead of allowing your circumstances to dictate who you are, you’ll make the rules!

6. Live one day at a time. Despite your best efforts, some days simply provide one frustration after another. When this happens, you have a choice. You can let your circumstances defeat you, or you can choose a more positive perspective. There’s a wealth of benefit to the mindfulness practice of living each day moment by moment.

Resolve today to find your strengths, learn from your difficult circumstances, and experience the joy you were created to experience. Instead of tying your self-worth to your circumstances, choose to see things as they really are. You were created with unique talents and gifts. When you find those gifts within yourself and put them to use, you’ll know how valuable you truly are.

Nature As Medicine

‘Beach sunrise’ ©️ Sandy Kiaizadeh 2019

It’s no secret, given my Insta feed (not to mention the hundreds of thousands of photos in my iCloud), that I am a sunrise chaser. As a photographer with a lifelong fascination with observing and capturing light in just the right way, nothing beats the spectacular lighting, hues and shading of an especially gorgeous beach sunrise hand-painted by the goddess of all goddesses, Mother Nature.

Sunrises, in particular, have always held a special place in my heart over sunsets. There’s something about the serenity that’s so rare, especially when living in the midst of such a bustling city that is Toronto… so the break of dawn offers a rare glimpse into how tranquil even the most populated city in Canada can get when its 3 million human inhabitants are still sleeping. It’s in these moments that I get to watch nature’s other creatures in their most natural state. Spotting coyotes, moles, beavers and otters going about their business. Observing the city’s various water birds (ducks, geese, cormorants, herons, swans, etc.) happily co-existing by the same lakeshore. There’s a beautiful synergy between them that makes me think we humans still have yet so much to learn about building community.

Being beachside at sunrise helps ground me to the NOW by tethering me to the sights, smells and sensations that nature has a special way of offering. It reconnects me with the four elements – earth, air, fire and water – which so many of us big city dwellers often lose connection with. Stargazing connects me with ether too; it’s taught me more about astronomy than any book ever could. Over the years, I’ve noticed firsthand how the water’s tides are so intimately impacted by the phases of the moon.

Most importantly, I credit my avid sunrise-chasing for helping to heal me from the deep grief I’ve experienced over the past few years. My soul puppy’s passing 4 years ago triggered an extended period of insomnia in me, which is how I first discovered the power of Mother Nature’s healing medicine. In the year after he passed, meditating beachside at sunrise became my daily ritual. And then when my father passed soon afterwards, I intuitively sought the embrace of the sun’s daily awakening to breathe life back into my heart. These days, the ritual has become such an important part of my mind-body-spirit practice that I get antsy if my schedule precludes me from my beachy meditations at dawn. This practice is what pointed me to my shamanic path. It’s on the sands by natural bodies of water where I’m able to connect with my ancestors the easiest. It’s through this practice that I can so naturally escape the endless chatter of my Ego Mind in favour of the wisdom of my Higher Self. Observing nature, and becoming one with it.

So ya. Sunrises. The OG medicine. 🙌🏽

Find Your Purpose in a Few Minutes With a Few Questions

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It’s not easy to figure out how to spend the rest of your life. But, it doesn’t have to be extremely challenging either. By asking yourself a few, simple questions, you can learn enough about yourself to figure it all out. There may not be a 100% perfect answer, but you can figure out a great answer in a short amount of time.

 

What are you meant to do?

Consider these questions to help you determine your purpose:

1. What am I interested in? These can be things you like to do, learn about, and think about. What activities cause you to lose track of time? Make a list of your 10 favourite activities. Now, think of ways you can make a living in a related way. For example:

• If you love teaching, there are many ways to instruct others. You could be an actual teacher, a personal trainer, teach meditation classes, or be a sports coach.
• Do you love sports? Think coach, athletic trainer, gym teacher, and so on.

2. What do I want to learn more about? Is there a topic that fascinates you so much that you spend your free time learning more about it? You might be fascinated with astronomy or inventing a better mousetrap. What really piques your interest?

3. What am I naturally good at? Ideally, you can find something that you love that you also have a natural talent for. What are some things you do better than the average person? Make another list.

4. What did I want to do when I was a child? What did you dream about being when you were growing up? Sometimes your first ideas are the best ideas. Think about your childhood dreams and ask yourself why you chose that field. You might get a few clues.

5. What are my values? What is most important to you? Adventure? Helping others? Personal development? Overcoming challenges? Your purpose has to be aligned with your values.

6. What is my gut telling me? There’s a time for logic and reason. This might not be one of those times. Sometimes, the best choice doesn’t necessarily make a lot of sense. What is your soul trying to tell you? Listen.

7. Why? Why does a particular field appeal to me? If you understand that, you can find other options that might be more suitable to you. Supposed you have an interest in being a physician. Make a list of why that appeals to you:

• Help people
• Intellectually challenging
• Avoid an office environment
• Get respect from family and the general public
• Financially rewarding: Have nice things and retire early

Now… Ask yourself what else you could do that would meet those needs of yours. For example, you could volunteer on the weekend, you could learn to speak Mandarin, and you could become a successful real estate investor.

8. Choose. Making a choice can be scary. But if you’ve narrowed down your options, it’s hard to make a poor choice. Making no choice at all ensures that your life stays stuck.

It can be unsettling if you don’t know what to do with your life. So, spend a little time with yourself and figure it out. It’s important to make a decision, because the cost of never deciding is significant. Look to your values and preferences and you’ll find a life path that appeals to you. All it takes is asking yourself a few pertinent questions.

Top 6 Actions That Help You Achieve Your Goals

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If you’re tired of making resolutions and goals that you never accomplish, a new approach may help. Conventional mindset goals can fall apart for several reasons. Once you’re aware of why this happens, you can prevent it or fix it so you can be on your way to achievement.

Try these techniques to achieve your goals:

1. Pick realistic goals. One of the most frequent issues is that you may pick goals that aren’t realistic. Perhaps you want to travel around the globe, read hundreds of books, and start your own business. Logistically speaking, some of your goals might simply not be possible any time soon. You may not have the money for travel, you don’t have the time to read, and pursuing your new business venture may require a lot of capital. It’s important to make your goals tangible. For example, instead of taking one long vacation spanning all the Earth’s continents, plan your one next big adventure to visit a country.

2. Break goals into a journey. It’s easy to set a goal, miss it, and get upset. Instead of doing this to yourself with each resolution, try a different way. View your goal as a long-term journey, where each leg of the journey leads up to where you’ll finally arrive. Create a plan that will get you to that goal. Set milestones and rewards along the way.

3. Measure your progress. In some cases, you may be close to achieving your goal, but you give up too soon. By measuring your progress, you’ll be able to see what you’re doing more clearly. You’ll be more motivated to stay on the journey and keep pushing toward your resolution. Set up a system to track your progress. Try different tools, such as calendars, journals, or logs to keep track of your goals and see which system works best for you.

4. Ask for help. Sometimes you might fail simply because you don’t ask for help and try to do everything by yourself. Perhaps a little help will bring you success! It’s normal to need help along your journey. You may need an entire support network behind you to achieve your goal. Turn to friends, family, coworkers, and others for support. Asking for help can help you achieve your goals faster and make the entire process easier as you work toward your target.

5. Feel free to adjust goals. You don’t have to stick with an old goal. Sometimes goals need to be changed and modified. You may evolve as a person and realize that your earlier ambitions are no longer relevant. Your present is constantly affecting your mindset and the way you perceive things. You accumulate knowledge, wisdom, and experience over time that affects your goals.

6. Stay aware of growth. You will continue to grow even if you don’t reach your goals. In some cases, failure may be a blessing because it teaches you valuable life lessons you wouldn’t have realized before. Without failure, you may not change enough to grow. Failure isn’t the end, and you can always set new goals. It’s more important to grow and become stronger than to reach every goal on your list.

Remember, your list will also change, so it won’t look the same as when you started. Be proactive about your goals! Take effective actions that support you and your goals, and you’ll find that achievement comes much easier.

10 Intriguing Ways to Challenge Yourself for 30 Days

Most likely, you won’t change the world in a month, but you can create new habits that

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put you on the road to making a difference in your world. Most people can drop or create a habit within 30 days. The only item you need is commitment.

Do you have what it takes? This list will provide you with a few ideas. Put your creative thinking cap on, and you’ll develop a few of your own ideas for challenges that will make a positive difference in your life.

Challenge yourself and change your life:

1. Try a new recipe. Let’s face it. You have the same thing for breakfast every day. Only a couple of different things for lunch. And maybe 10 different things for dinner. You’ve been eating the same stuff for years! Try something new. You’re bound to find something you love. Eat something new each day for a month.

2. Drink only water as a beverage for a month. How much do you rely on your morning cafe latte? You’re about to find out. Just go one month without drinking anything other than what your adult body was designed to drink – water.

3. Give up your news habit. See how many days you can go without watching or reading any news. Think you’ll miss out on something important? Your friends will tell you. Besides, the news hasn’t changed much for the last 100 years. Look at an old newspaper for proof.

4. Take a cold shower. There are lots of health benefits to be found from taking cold showers. They’re great for your mood and immune system. See how tough you really are. One tip: Rather than starting with a cold shower, start with a hot shower and gradually keep turning the temperature down. It’s refreshing!

5. Wake up 30 minutes earlier. Get out of bed 30 minutes earlier and do something productive. You might try learning Italian or reading. It might be a good time for a walk. Maybe you’ll meditate, pray, or write. See how special the morning can be before everyone else gets up!

6. Avoid complaining. Thirty days without complaining? Can you do it? You might struggle at first if you have a habit of complaining. But you’ll feel great by the end of the month!

7. Avoid negative thoughts. How about skipping all negative thoughts for a month? It’s important to catch yourself early in the process, and there will be plenty of times you’ll have to catch yourself. Breaking this one negative habit can make a huge positive difference in your life.

8. Do something nice for someone each day. You can do 30 things for the same person or for a variety of people. The choice is yours. Try to accomplish this anonymously. You’ll learn how good it feels to do something for someone else without getting anything in return.

9. Study something for a month. Pull the old guitar out of the attic. Learn how to paint. Study web marketing. This is a great challenge to combine with waking up earlier. What will you learn this month?

10. Exercise daily for a month. It doesn’t have to be challenging, but do something physical and fun each day for 30 days. Think of ways you can enjoy this time. You might shoot baskets in the driveway one day, and meet a friend for tennis the next. Take the family for a hike. Play with your dog. Try that new Body Groove class. Just do something active and enjoy the endorphin rush!

What ideas do you have for a 30-day challenge? Visualize how great you’ll feel if you can make just a couple of worthwhile changes over the next month. Your life will be moving toward new possibilities. You can change your habits in 30 days. Let’s get started!

9 Secrets of Peak Performers

What are the secrets of success? Do you need to be born with unique talents or special gifts? Luckily, success is rarely the result of anything you can’t acquire in your adulthood.

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You can develop the daily habits, resiliency, and motivation you need to achieve your goals. These are all things that can be learned if you’re willing to put in the time and effort.

 

Peak performers have many traits in common:

1. Have goals and review them daily. If you’re like most people, you don’t have a set of concrete goals, and you don’t review them regularly. Never underestimate the power of knowing what you want and reminding yourself on a daily basis.

2. Surround yourself with the right people. Peak performers have people who support their goals on their team and in their social network. If you want to be successful, realize that you can’t do it alone. Hang out with other successful people.

3. Read regularly. Those who are highly successful are constantly upgrading their knowledge and skills. For example, Mark Cuban claims to read three hours each day. You don’t have to read for three hours, but it’s important to make reading a daily habit.

4. Work toward your goals even when you don’t feel like it. If you wait for perfect conditions, you’ll never do anything. You can make progress each day, regardless of everything else that may be going on. To get started, force yourself to work for just 10 minutes. Let momentum keep you going.

5. Get up early. Peak performers are usually early risers. The early morning is quiet and a great time to work, plan, or create. Get a headstart on the day while everyone else is still sleeping.

6. Minimize distractions. At times, the most successful people isolate themselves from the rest of the world to get things done. You might not have investors and fans knocking on your door, but you do have the internet, TV, and kids. Keep distractions to a minimum when it’s time to work.

7. Be consistent. Peak performers don’t work sporadically. They are consistent in their efforts. Make success a daily exercise. Have a list of things you’re going to accomplish and ensure that you do them.

8. Take setbacks in stride. Those that struggle tend to be easily sidelined by obstacles and setbacks. High achievers aren’t bothered by such challenges. Peak performers have resiliency and maintain a balanced perspective. The more challenges you can handle with poise, the more success you’ll enjoy.

9. Make things happen. Successful people don’t sit around and wait for the world to pick them. They pick themselves and make the most of their abilities. Be assertive if you want to be a peak performer. Success is within reach.

Anyone can become a high performer with a positive attitude and habits that support their goals. A few lucky people naturally acquire an effective attitude and habits. The rest of us must cultivate them. Pick a few of these “secrets” and begin implementing them in your life. Success is bound to come your way.

How to Ward Off Seasonal Depression

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Today is the third Monday of January – aka Blue Monday – claimed to be the most depressing day of the year. While this internet-made day has long since been debunked by science, there’s no denying that seasonal depression is very real.

Seasonal depression is a more common term for a condition named SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). SAD is a recurring depression that often occurs in the late fall and winter months. Contrary to common belief, you can successfully combat seasonal depression long before you feel its effects.

Try these tips to ward off seasonal depression:

1. Mimic the sun. Make sure to get some sun on your face for at least 20 minutes a day; failing that, consider purchasing a sunlamp that mimics the rays of the sun. Light therapy is one of the highest recommended treatments for seasonal depression.

2. Nurture your social life. Being socially active is an important part of keeping up your spirits during the wintertime. Have a weekly dinner with your friends. If the weather is nasty, host a dinner in your home or head over to your friends’ house for a nice evening. If the weather allows, head out for a weekly catch-up with the girls or poker night with the boys.

3. Boost your vitamins intake. Consider speaking with your family doctor and/or naturopathic doctor to see whether taking a course of vitamin supplements can help you. For instance, ample research shows that Seasonal Affective Disorder is prevalent when vitamin D stores are typically low. Get your levels properly tested.

4. Take a winter vacation. There’s a reason millions of Canadians are known as snowbirds! Head to a warm, sandy beach for a fresh perspective. Pack your bags and take a two-week vacation to Florida, Hawaii, or even a cruise in the Bahamas. Just two weeks, or even less if your schedule is rigid, will make a world of a difference on your mood. If you’re low on funds, consider nixing your summer vacation in favour of a yearly winter vacation. Generally, SAD recurs every winter. Instead of fleeing your home during the warm summer months, think of a winter vacation as your secret weapon against combating seasonal depression.

5. Practice daily mindfulness. By now, you likely have heard all about the benefits of daily meditation, right? These include lowered blood pressure, increased immunity, better sleep, and a reduction of symptoms associated with depression, anxiety, and pain related to stress.

In essence, you can effectively combat seasonal depression by being aware of both your behaviour and environment. Make a conscious effort to boost your own spirits and refrain from slipping into a rut. Of course, if you know that you’re suffering from a debilitating episode of SAD, contact a family doctor to ensure that your condition is safely treated and whether you need medication or not. And also consider working with a licensed psychotherapist to help you find the right coping strategies for you.

With a few small changes, you can survive – and even thrive – through the dreary winter season. Spring is right around the corner and the sunny weather and new perspective you crave can be yours, even before spring gets here.

Are You Following Your Own Path, or Someone Else’s?

It’s not easy to find your way through the world. You might have interests that don’t coincide with the values of your parents or with those of western society. It’s important to remember that everyone is different, and while the status quo might work for the majority of the population, it doesn’t work for everyone.

To have a truly fulfilling life, you must live it on your own terms. There are plenty of forces willing to tell you what your path should be:

1. Parents. Your parents want you to be happy and successful. They love you, and they want you to thrive and blossom. Many of them may also like to be able to brag to their friends about their children. 🙂  Most parents tend to be practical in their advice. Just remember that you’d have a similar life to them if you always followed their advice. That might be good or bad. Keep in mind that you are not the same as your parents. You also have your own life to live. You owe it to yourself to live a life that’s right for YOU.
2. Educational system. The educational system wants to turn out productive people into society that conform to their ways of thinking. This might be great for society, but it might not always be in your best interests. What if you want to be a rockstar, or take a few years to travel and write a book, own an alpaca farm, or become a Buddhist monk in Sri Lanka? Your school guidance counsellor might be less than supportive of such pursuits!
3. Society as a whole. We, in the Western world, live in a society that places a strong value on achievement, financial resources, and personal possessions. We’re supposed to get married to a “perfect” partner, have a few kids, and own a house in the suburbs. It’s natural to want to play that game because we’ve all been so deeply indoctrinated to view these as measures of a “successful” life, even if it doesn’t quite suit our true nature. It’s nice to have the admiration of society, our ego minds crave this type of recognition. But the type of life dictated by society isn’t alwaysa good fit for everyone. There are plenty of people that are highly successful by society’s criteria that are profoundly unhappy with how their lives turned out. 

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As you can see, plenty of people are willing to influence your choice of lifestyle and career. But it’s unlikely that their advice will be optimal for you all the time. Be an individual and find the path that works best for you. Find and follow your own path with these strategies:

1. Ask yourself what you really want to do. Don’t say that you don’t know, because you do know. You’re just afraid to allow it to see the light of day. You might be concerned what others think, or you might be afraid that you’re not capable of doing it. Deep down, if you turned inward and listened to the whispers in your heart, you know what you want. Ask yourself what you would do if you could do anything, and then listen to the answer.
2. Decide that you’re going to follow your path. One of the biggest obstacles to success is failing to make a true decision. A decision only occurs when you shut yourself off to other possibilities. If you frequently change your mind, you’re not making true decisions.
3. Make a plan. Rome wasn’t built in a day. So set up a schedule of daily tasks that will bring you closer to living the life that you have chosen. In doing so, you’re practically guaranteed success provided you don’t give up.

Your life is your responsibility. If you find yourself stuck living someone else’s definition of success, you’ll find yourself unhappy. The people that influenced you to live this way will be off living their own best lives. Take control of your destiny and find your own path. Your life will be more interesting, more satisfying, and uniquely your own!